… Once you’re done with the aquarium you’ll have a chance to see where young wannabe actors end up in between a cast and another in London.  Just a few metres off Sea Life, if your kids are old enough or however have a nerve and a strong bent for spooky things get ready for the London Dungeon (https://www.thedungeons.com/london/en/), which is an Odissey through the most gruesome bits of London historical and/or literary tradition. You’ll be crammed into a tiny boat alongside Anne Boleyn on her final journey down the Thames to The Tower of London to be beheaded as traitors to king Henry the VIII and will then meet assassins such as Jack the Ripper and infamous barber of Fleet Street, Sweeney Todd and all sort of riffraff. On your journey you’ll pass through the Whitechapel Labyrinth of misty East London streets, plague-ravaged houses, the fearsome torture chamber and so on. And it is a sensory experience too, in a sense that, for some reasons, they thought it advisable to cause you to go through all the stench, humidity, miasma etc. possibly plaguing the seediest parts of ancient London. In hindsight an experience you would rather spare yourself, but the kids will love it.

If your kids are too young or even just a little sensitive, you’d better skip the London Dungeon and head straight to the realm of far far away and what goes under the name of “Shrek Adventure” (https://www.shreksadventure.com/london/). In a nutshell the story goes that you are riding a flying bus (driven by the Shrek character Dunkey) that accidentally runs over an evil witch who happened to be Rumpelstiltskin’s fiancé. With Shrek’s help you shall then make a journey through Far Far Away Realm, meet the saga’s characters in order to escape Rumpelstiltskin’s vendetta. There’s definitely something eerie about people playing the role of cartoon characters, but the young actors are touchingly good (particularly princess Fiona) at pretending they don’t feel embarrassed in the least.

The core business of the Sea Life, London Dungeon and Shrek Experience however is the sale coming from the “themed shops” and the “photographic albums”: during the visit they take pictures of you and then digitally place you into the environment as if you were an actual part of the story. One of the most embarrassing body of evidence ever. The kids love it. Be careful.

Finally, of course, the London Eye is worth a ride, even if I personally find panoramic wheels very boring. 

If – after all that – you’re starving you can always pop into any of the many restaurants located within the County Hall, but my suggestion is to head for the restaurant located on the 6th floor at the Tate Modern (that is about 1 mile away, but it’s a nice walk) … it offers a far better view, a good Bloody Mary indeed (and much deserved after this ordeal) and further gives you the chance to say that you brought your children to see some modern art! 😜

Next post on the things the Almighty C. and I have been desperately trying to do without success (so far)…